I made a promise to myself when I agreed to do this blog, that I would be 100% honest. I had no idea how hard it would be being so honest with myself and for the world to read. I have always thought of myself and my life as an open book, but when it comes to living with hypoparathyroidism I shut my book and thought I had to hide this from the world, and part of me still does.
I have spent years being made to feel bad for my illness, and I suffered at the hands of some of the doctor’s that were supposed to help me.
Imagine having something so wrong with you but you don’t know what it is and no one seems to want to listen or help. I spent the first year mostly in a hospital and when I wasn’t in the hospital I was too weak to get out of bed. I had such determination to live but I honestly didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am slowly finding a voice and I am finding out who I am.
Do you think there is something that changes in a person’s essence when they find peace? How does one find peace when they feel like everything they do is a battle? I am searching for that peace and some balance. It has been years since I have been comfortable in my own skin. I want to get back there.
I recently went to California to stay with my best friend and I had that peace and balance. There has never been anything so easy in my life. The comfort we have is such beauty. I forgot what that kind of peace felt like. I hope everyone finds this in their life.
This was my first trip in 3 years that I successfully made without ending up in a hospital for days after. This is HUGE for me. I can easily pack my packets of Cal-EZ and my protein shakes and I don’t worry so much about a crash. I eased back into life at home without being rushed to the nearest emergency room. So much of my life has been centered on hypopara, but for once, I am learning that it’s the other way around. Obliviously living with hypopara isn’t ideal, but I’ve come to peace with it and actually love the person it made me. I am learning new stuff about myself each day and I am learning to live my life again. This is for the rest of my life. I will always have hypopara, and I will probably always have to be a little more careful but watch out world, I’m back! You didn’t really think you could keep me down forever did you?
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it’s letting go.”
Disclaimer: I have received complimentary Cal-EZ as a thank you for sharing my story. All opinions about Cal-EZ are my own.
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