Prior to my surgery I thought I had it all. I loved my job. I had 2 amazing kids and a wonderful boyfriend. We had family outings, played board games, and spent the warm summer days at the beach. I woke up and, in an instant, it was all gone.
When I got sick I had this weird fantasy that everyone would rally around and help me and care for me. Isn’t that what family and friends do? I soon had a wake-up call that this wasn’t going to be the case. This led me to believe that maybe the bond I thought I had with them really wasn’t that strong. It became very clear very quickly that I was heading into this mostly on my own.
In the beginning I was too sick to do much for myself and spent the greater part of the first year in the hospital or at home unable to get out of bed. My mother who lives 7 hours away started driving up to me as much as she could. When she wasn’t with me she dedicated her free time to researching doctors, medicines, websites, and anything she could find about hypoparathyroidism. She was my biggest ally. During this time, contact with my father and sister came to a halt – something I still don’t understand.
My kids are coming to terms with this and the older they get the more they understand. It doesn’t make it easy and they miss the old mom. So I always take advantage of the good days and make sure I do something with them.
I watched my romantic relationship crumble slowly over these past 3 years. Never once has he escorted me to a doctor’s appointment or sat with me on one of my many long hospital stays. If someone were to ask him what was wrong with me, he couldn’t tell them. He never took the time to learn about my illness or the care it required or how to help me in case of a calcium crash.
This didn’t make me sad, it made me stronger. If you don’t like being a doormat get off the floor.
I used to be embarrassed by my illness and hid it from the world. No more! I wear it like a badge of honor. In a weird way this was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
Disclaimer: I have not received any compensation for writing this blog.
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